The hardest thing i have ever done

I dedicate this paper to Aaron Burke who yesterday without knowing it
talked me into telling one of the hardest things Ive ever done. 
I punch and scream at the pillow and it doesn't help,
It doesn't heal the pain, it doesn't stop the pain
I still hear the words ringing in my ears,
I wish this pillow was his face,
I wish he could feel the same way i feel right now,
Alone, mad, terrified, and sad.
Again i wish this pillow where his face,
Because maybe then he could feel some of what i felt.
The pillow did not become his face
It did not any way become some sort of voodoo doll either.
Again i wish this pillow where his face.
Over the years the pain has healed or maybe Ive just hidden deeper
inside me.
I have forgiven him. It was the hardest thing i had to do,
But it had to be done.
I no longer wish this pillow where his face.
I instead wish he could be healed like i have been, 
He could feel what i feel now.
Peace , happiness and fulfilment.
I no longer wish this pillow where his face.